To Do: A Hogwarts Tale
by Halowyn Greenleaf
Summary: The to-do lists of Hermione, Harry, Draco, Ron Ginny, Percy etc... some nudity. Send suggestions for new lists (if you want more)Funny, but strongly PG-13.
1. Hermione the Hoe's List

A little fun in the midst of all my serious and sometimes humorous love stories. Enjoy! Note: I hate Hermione. Beware. PG-13 for a very good reason  
  
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Dedication: Believe me; no one would want this to be dedicated to them. WARNING: This I very bad and if you are younger than 13 I strongly advise turning back.  
  
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Disclaimer: All characters are Rowling's  
  
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Hermione's List:  
  
1. Make up excuse to go hide in the boy's Quidditch lockers.  
  
2. Spill peas at dinner and bend over to pick them up (even though I could use accio) while wearing low skirt and thong bought during my naughty weekend with Draco.  
  
3. Make nudity potion explode in class at a convenient time.  
  
4. Hit on Snape to make Harry jealous.  
  
5. Put the more *interesting* pictures I have of Ron on Harry's bureau to see if he's gay or not. Put pictures of Harry under Ron's pillow. Hide in closet and monitor reaction.  
  
6. Glue pretty pictures of me + Harry together and watch them do their thing.  
  
7. Get more of this *hic* yummy bubbly stuff Ron gave me.  
  
8. Laugh at Ginny's expression when she finds the undressed action figure of Charlie I planted in her trunk.  
  
9. Go ice skating in a see-through bikini outside Professor Flitwick's classroom.  
  
10. Publish recipe for curing depression: Put Crookshanks in Harry's bed, and spiders in Ron's. Wait in closet or under invisibility cloak. Sit back and watch the fun.  
  
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Wellwellwell that was very interesting. I don't know I don't know what possessed me to write it. Review and I'll have more lists, but less bad unless I really hate the character. 


	2. Percy the Prefect's List

Equation: Limeade+10pm+me+computer= beautiful fanfiction!!!!! Latest  
installment. Percy's List. Need I say more?  
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Dis: all is the great JK's  
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Chappy Two: Percy's List  
  
Percy: What is this my good author? Not putting my proper title in there?  
Gone a bit loony have you, wot?  
  
Halowyn: Um, Percy, you need a wake up call..  
  
Percy: Eh, what's that? Wake up? WAKE UP YOU SAY??????? I'll have you know  
that I have been up since four this morning working on the decree to banish  
Playwitch (see Snowflake's Kiss)!  
  
Slytherin House: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Halowyn: Who invited you?!  
  
Slytherin House: We're the hit squad hired by Playwitch to go undercover  
and take out the one trying to banish it.  
  
Halowyn and Percy: Well, not very undercover anymore are we?  
  
Halowyn and Percy: look stunned at each other *blush* um...err. heh  
heh.stammer  
  
Halowyn *thinking*: maybe I really DO sound British.  
  
Percy: Well that was er, rather uncanny....wot...?  
  
Slytherin House: Staring dumbfounded at the coinciding of these two  
opposite souls  
  
Crabbe: what does unkh Annie mean?  
  
Goyle: how should I know?  
  
Pansy:....................  
  
Halowyn: well now you've found the banisher just take him out won't you?  
*Smiles innocently at Percy*  
  
Percy: you wouldn't!  
  
Halowyn: Too late!  
  
SH: get him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Percy: WAIT!  
  
Halowyn and SH: what is it NOW?  
  
Halowyn and SH: more blushing and stammering  
  
Percy the Prig: I have pictures of her and Draco's honeymoon.during the  
night!  
  
SH: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
Gimme gimme gimme!!!!  
  
Draco: hey, I thought I mailed those to Hermione as blackmail?  
  
Halowyn: I hate you Draco  
  
Draco: Sorry babe. Hey, I made limeade and a banana cream pie for you  
today!  
  
Halowyn: 33 Oh, Draco! 33  
  
Draco and Halowyn: *smooch session*  
  
Percy: It seems the Slytherins are enjoying the pictures!!!  
  
SH: Wow, I didn't even know that position was POSSIBLE!  
  
Halowyn: Oh fine Percy. I will give you the proper title if you get my  
pictures back and memory wipe them.  
  
Percy: No problemo.  
  
Draco: I will be waiting, my love.  
  
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Percy *the Prefect*'s List  
1. Screw that oddly shaped faucet in the prefect's bathroom.  
2. Get half naked mermaid to come out of picture.  
3. Wait under the bubbles before Penelope's bath.  
4. Put more superglue (from dad's muggle collection) into Draco's hair gel  
(and everyone wonders why it is so stiff).  
5. Tattoo spider and picture of Hermione on Ron's butt and see who finds it  
first.  
6. Cheat on Astronomy exam by bewitching fireflies to give me the correct  
patterns.  
7. Predict an exciting night of sex with a mystery lover in Professor  
Trelawny's near future and then drop note outside her trapdoor that reads,  
"Meet me at the north tower at midnight tomorrow".  
8. Get new makeout place. Hermione, Harry and Ron take up too much room.  
9. Graffiti the statue outside Dumbledore's office.  
10. Find a way to bypass the fact that I am trying to outlaw Playwitch and  
order some for myself along with an unbreakable safe trunk to keep my  
vintage collection in. 


End file.
